Controlling Spouse needs To Face up?

Hi, I need some good advice on what i should do,In 2007 i decided enough was enough , i had put up with a controlling abusive marriage for over 24 years, I spoke for the very first time to my controlling husband would he like to get help for his sudden out bursts he thought about it he said no, so i did the very next thing i should of done years ago, i said to him in a very calm voice, then you must rather leave, as i felt it was so important that the children start learning good values, there father is very controlling if my spouse and i argued he would share it with the children turning them against me, this went on for years, when my third son was born he drank all night after work, coming home late in the morning reeking of alcohol, we started sleeping in seperate rooms eventually but he did that before we immigrated to australia from south africa 11 years ago, when i moved to australia we had our third child, wrong timing to give a controlling man a baby on my part, my son is no mistake, my son is everything to me but it was a wrong move on my part, wrong timing we fought constantly about money and life in general every day was a battle ground, i had several nervous breakdowns ending up in hospital for a couple of months he jet setted of up country to work, my eldest son of 25 now had to take care of the children while i was in hospital, he was 19 then,to cut the story short, my spuse is back after working up country for a few years and now we are seperated, my question he is still controlling his opinion about how things should be and shouldn't be concerning my little boy, he constantly harrasses me when my little boy wants to hire a game his dad says no he says you play to much t.v games, my little boy says but daddy i am lonely i have know one to play with thats when i come into the picture i see my childs need and voice my say only to get my head bitten off, my son doesnt love his dad or doesnt want to be with his dad , that made his daddy angry when my little boy said he doesnt want to be with his daddy to my spouse now my spouse manipulates him and says well then you dont come to my house or wants callum to go home to me by himself in a taxi, i am outraged at this , he often leaves his son in the apartment when he goes down to the laundry in the apartment downstairs when i am not there,my little boy is only 7 years, i constantly phone him on the weekends he is with his dad, just to see he isnt alone, i am very worried , i dont work i get a disability grant from centrelink,i have to constantly watch myself what i say as i ended up with a mental breakdown, my little boy has no issues with me as i am always there to comfort him.What can i do to stop my abusive controlling spouse as i said my divorce is sometime this year due to financial reasons,My spouse constantly controls and confuses his little boy, i dont know what else to do i feel so helpless.. Another thing i am always encouraging my son to love his dad...but my son doesnt see it that way, i am hurting because my spouse is manipulating his little boy to his way of thinking, my second eldest was also very close to me but my husband didnt appreciate that either, coming here my son ended up taking drugs at 9 years and only coming right 2 years ago at 20 years, i never knew about that, if only he came to me about it he would drink aswell just like his dad, i remembered he said i would steal a drink from my dads cupboard, now i have my third to worry about what do you suggest!!!!Controlling Spouse needs To Face up?
your hubby is so abusive. he doesn't even know when to stop. how hard it is to be with somebody who you thought he's the right man for you. he doesn't even care to you and your children. he had ruined so much of your life, wasted time with somebody like him. just be strong for yourself and for your children. everything's gonna be alright. you made your first move, you have divorced him. hope everything we'll follows.Controlling Spouse needs To Face up?
Somehow you need to lose contact with that bum. He is obviously no good for you or your kids. Can't you just get rid of him somehow like moving away and not letting him know where you moved to? You and your kids should not have to live like this. Stay away from him as much as possible and try to move away...(smile)
Its tough be married to a ';micro managing A $$Hole!


Make preparation to depart! 24 years of this is 23 +1/2 more than I would have taken!


There is worse things, than being alone!


Escape this madness, + enjoy life to the extreme!


good luck
I would refuse anyone who drinks to see my children. No one would be allowed to see my children without supervision when they are so cruel.


Deny him access and let him take it to court now.


He is no good in your children's lives and you have to protect them.


Bring up your children with love but also discipline, you don't want them ending up like their father.
When you go for your divorce, make sure your lawyer and the judge knows how he is and how your son feels. Make sure you let them know of his drinking problem and how he leaves your son alone. Let them know you are not comfortable letting your son go with him because you fear for his safety. Ask your lawyer and the judge if there is anyway they can force him into counseling if he wants to see his son. Or find out if his visits can be supervised. You may also let them know that your son does not like this man and does not want to go with him and maybe they will not grant him visitation. Good Luck!